Experiences

Obviously I haven't made it back here for quite a while.  It's been so long that I'm not sure what to write about first.

Living in Florida has been more amazing that I could have ever imagined.  The area is full of people and many things to do.  I can't imagine why this location was not more popular in the past with my co-workers.  I'll get to the job in a later post... but I am continuing to learn.

I've changed immensely in a little over a year of starting the Financial Leadership Program. When I first met one of the girls in my class, I told her how much I wanted to work in Corporate FP&A (Hartford, CT).  Today?  I am ready to explore new territories after my graduation from the program.  I would consider most out of state positions.  My free time is worth a lot and I'd like to spend it seeing different parts of the country and the world.

I believe living in  new places can become quite addicting.  Always new experiences and new areas to explore.  My career is still very important to me and I will always be committed to being great at my job, but I refuse to be stuck in any particular location.  At least not yet.

This is what your 20's is for. Maybe even your 30's.  Some people might live this way their entire lives.  I learn more about myself every day by traveling and making new introductions to new friends.  When you are in the same place it's easy to fall into habits and routines, but when you live somewhere new there is always something new to explore.

In two months I have made great friends with similar interests.  I've explored the swamps of Myakka State Park, discovered trails near my home to run, spent a day out on a boat exploring the gulf coast, traveled to a music festival to see many of my favorite EDM artists perform, joined a kickball league, joined a group who meets for weekly trivia nights.

Everyone, especially at my age and point in my career, NEEDS to live their dreams.  Enjoy almost every second of your life. If you learn to live that way early on, you can sustain it for the rest of your life.  Some people get stuck - they make decisions because they think it's the only choice.  Everything is a choice and the possibilities are endless..

I am living proof so far..

Moving away

I've never been away from home for very long.  I went to school at the University of Connecticut, less than 45 minutes from my home with my mother and brother and even closer to my fathers home.  I found a lot of comfort in being able to withdraw from my surroundings and spend a  good weekend relaxing in a place I feel comfortable.  What is it about home that makes it so refreshing?

It's not necessarily my family, although sometimes it was.  My mom and I are very close and it's important to me to keep up with her and spend time together.  Sometimes we would spend a lot of time together when I came home, and other times I would spend a lot of time alone.  Something about being in a room in a house where someone else takes care of you, and loves you.

I am about to embark on a new journey away from home.  I am moving to Florida for six months for work.  I suppose six months will go by very quickly, but that does not prevent me from being anxious.

When I tell people that the longest and furthest I've been from home is when I spend a month in Kenya on a volunteer trip, they are surprised at my hesitation to leave.  I loved Kenya and all the different cities I traveled to and people I met.  But I was also very homesick.

If you know me, you know I am not quiet or shy, but often around completely new people I feel unsure, not confident in myself as sometimes I may seem.  I did not make any lasting friendships on my trip to Kenya like I had hoped.  It took me too long to open up and create real connections with others.  I am looking forward to working on this trait when I move to Florida.

I want to be confident, strong and willing to converse with anyone.  I vow to be this way.  To talk to many people and hopefully make friends quickly.  To be more open.  To be myself.  I think people my age can struggle with "being themselves." Because who really are we?  How do you define a 'self'?  My experiences and my morals define me, and at 22 I don't have a whole lot of experience to work with.  There is a level of self-consciousness that comes with being young and unsure of yourself that can hinder relationships with other people.  I want all my relationships to be memorable and meaningful even if I only have six months to make them so.

And after six months has passed and I am moving on to my next assignment I will look back on this and I will feel that I've made progress.

Power in the workplace

Let me tell you the story of what happened to me Tuesday morning:

I organized a charity event for 35 people at my company to participate and teach at a city elementary school.  On Tuesday, I had a visitor from the nonprofit organization come in to train our employees.  I signed her in and brought her up to the conference room I had booked a few weeks earlier for training.  We were already 5 minutes late.

When I open the door, there are two men and a woman sitting inside on a conference call.  I ask them, skeptically, if they have the conference room booked.  When they told me yes, I went back to my desk to print a copy of the conference room calendar with my name on it.  We are now running 10 minutes late.

I bring the sheet of paper back and knock on the door before opening.  A short man inside with graying hair storms toward me, yelling "WE ARE IN A MEETING".  The man gets within two inches of my face, pushing me out of the door and slamming it in my face.  Now I don't care how late we are.  Employees halfway down the hall heard the door slamming.

Now here's the twist, this man is a very senior manager at my company, reporting directly to a Vice President of Operations.  

What is it about power that makes people think they live by a different set of rules?  What is it about power that  makes people forget that we are all human?  Even if I was wrong, is there any justification for treating another person this way?

And worse, would he have done it if I was a man?  Would he have done it if I was 10, 15, 20 years older?  I don't think he would have without knowing that he "outranks" me.

I believe that the term "outrank" has no place in a discussion about respect for others.  Everyone deserves the same level of decency especially in the place they are employed.  Clearly, the corporate environment would disagree with me.  What would be the outcome if I did the yelling?  If I did the door slamming?  I suppose I'd be out of a job.

The current outcome?  Neither the manager nor his supervisor were notified of this incident.  It never happened.  And that will change.  Not because I want this particular man in trouble, but because position does not give you a right to be disrespectful.  The environment of entitlement needs to change.

New Beginnings

I always loved to write when I was in school, becoming a Finance major didn't really allow my creative juices to flow.  I was inspired by my high school teachers to challenge myself and write with intent.  I suppose I will start with some free form writing and see what happens...

Like I said, as a Finance major, it's been a long time since I've written.

I was not only inspired by my teachers in school but also by a few great writers, particularly Kurt Vonnegut. If I could only write satire with such grace I too would be famous I suppose.

It's been a long time since I've read.  I tried to read a nonfiction book recently about the power of habit, but the book tells me what to do to fix the negatives in my life while a good piece of fiction teaches me to laugh at the negatives in my life.  I like my life the way it is.  Mostly.  I don't need a book to tell me what good habits are and how to change them.

What everyone needs is something to be passionate about.  Something that makes them feel accomplished at the end of the day.  Something that makes them feel useful and meaningful, that they are contributing something to the world.

I suppose I'll start with this blog, and see if that works for me.

I have a lot of emotion, but I will try to write eloquently no matter what I'm feeling.

The idea of this blog and this first post is a new beginning, and you have to start someplace.  A new beginning of self-awareness that can only be attained by organizing your thoughts and developing your beliefs on a piece of paper, or on a computer I suppose.  I challenge myself at this moment to spend my days having meaningful conversations that inspire posts about people, work, love, friendship, politics, technology, and life.  I challenge myself at this moment to develop my thoughts, ideas and beliefs about this world, and read more and do more research and have an opinion.  I challenge myself to be more aware, of the world and of the self.

And that is what this blog will be about, I suppose.